Something Different

So, my fellow homos..............apiens, i couldn't stand looking at mark's taped up nipples anymore (wished they were untaped).  Anyway, this is what i spent a month training for.  It really isn't hard and a month was overkill but it's way fun.  The photo quality is crappy because it's from a cellphone so.....sorry.

dam marathon

well, scooter and i ran the dam marathon today... i a little tuckered out but have learned a valuable lesson in the ways of marathons. lesson learned? don't repeated splash the hand out watter on your chest... it will make your nipples chafe. so thats me in all my glory... nipple chaffage and all. and scott was giving me an incredible stare down just a few minutes earlier as i was taping my 'battle wounds'. good times.

Bears oh my

Dave got lost by himself in the woods two days ago. When I got home from work he told me of his adventures in the woods and we discussed the need to buy some bear spray. As we discussed the topic, it became clear that we had been joined by a visitor on our front porch. A black bear was separating us from our front door. It was goofy looking, bow legged and quite mangey. We chased it off and decided that we should make an addition to that guy's movie who rides the moose on youtube and hug a bear.

I took fourteenth place in the anual 4 mile mud run. Not bad for having no idea where i was supposed to go. There is no path, just the mud flats when the tide goes out and streams up to your waist that you have to plunge through without loosing your shoes. Walmart velcro shoes got the job done yet again.

We met a mountain man on top of a mountain... named... mountain. He looks like a pirate captain and spends months at a time kye yack ing through southeastern alaska living off the land. Pretty nuts. We got his digits. I'll show you pictures.

much love from alaska

i found this freakin awsome pic today... i think all i can really say is dang.

well, its finally happened... i've ran too far. i had to get my toe nail removed the other day and i'll tell you what, for just a small sucka it sure snaggletoothed me good. i was all good till the anesthetic wore off leaving me incapacitated. today wasn't as bad as yesterday but i'm still carrying around a heavy limp. well i guess this should make for a good time next week in the marathon... giddy up suckas.

Alaskan Update

We hiked/mountian biked to herbert glass ierre this week and ran into boo boo on the trail. Other than that, we worked a lot, discovered a new secret handshake on the movie willow when the head midget sorcerer is bidding willow farewell. We continue to meet insane people and discovered that the people that live on both sides of us are heavily invovled with drug usage. They are nice fellows, one of them maybe a little too nice. We suspect he could be a sword-fighter. Soldier Dave/ Daiquini still sleeps by the door.

I was offered a job when doing a transfer at the airport. TSA is offering 20 bucks an hour as a starting wage with benefits. Come on up fellas. We are still rockin the monster truck that the penguin lady lent us and have been driving it with four large people in it at once. You'd be impressed at how we've become a team since one person has to steer and the other shift. It's really touching to see the team come together.

2 Elderly gentlemen have wet themselves on my tours so far. My jokes are that funny. We've all broken the 200 bones mark in tips in a week and a half. Not bad. Not bad at all.

Much Alaskan Love Radiating in your General Direction,

Squints

Wednsday: Wedding Day

What's this? I'm engaged. Go on, have your fun and make some cynical comment. But it is true, On August 29th we will be hitched. Here is some good news to help you feel comfort in this decision: She is a Bonneville Bee. She is a good friend of Tyler Roe's wife. She likes the poops and supports me in my poopdum. She actually likes me! So if that is not enough information to sway your vote, then I don't know what to do... anyway, just thought you all should know...

To all mothers......and Andy.

I would just like to publicly give thanks to all the mothers of the world......and Andy, for hasn't he been a "mother" to us all. Have we all not suckled his teet? Has he not picked all of us up when we scraped our knees? Has he not been the comforter in our sea of troubles? The answer is a resounding yes. So Andy, this is your day. Do what you want. Take a bubble bath. Light some candles. I sent you a mothers day gift in the mail, but you know how unreliable the mail system is these days. You might never get it. Just know that the cash value is about $23.78, and it's nothing sexual........maybe.
Love
matt

Look to your Eskimo friends

Greetings from the north pole...

Andy, I will now proceed to give you a variety... even a smorgishborg... or perhaps you could call it a plethera of reasons why you should drop everything, including your lease, and join us in our quest to harness the last frontier.

After a brief stint of being homeless, we have a place to live. We live in an apostate church. That's right, the landlord of the unitarian church has rented us a room and so for this month we have a place to live. Other living options included a tent, an RV, and my personal favorite, the tug boat out in the harbor (just a five minute row to shore). Our neighbors are friendly, one has terrets and plays violent video games all night. The only exchange we have had is when I gave one distinct knock on the wall when he was screaming the F word progressively louder and louder at 4:45 in the morning. He stopped and then said, "You mother f-er banging on the wall! I'm going to beat the sh*# out of you!" Needless to say, soldier Dave sleeps by the door.

The people here are insane. Each one we meet could have a whole new chapter of Napoleon Dynamite style films based on their lives. The lady that is renting to us looks like the penguin from Batman. She gave us the biggest cargo van that they made in 1992 to drive all summer. We are going to paint the bottom of her boat with her and then she will take us fishing all summer. She brought us fifty crab legs yesterday, cooked and caught that very day.

We purchased MOUNTAIN bikes (andy say it like the mountain dooo comercial we made and it's more fun) and we have been MOUNTAIN Biking around town getting to know Juneau (rigby wedged in the mountains, with have of it on a neighboring island where we live).

The glacier (say it like its a french word glass-eee-eire) is freaking sweet and we might go check that out today since we have only seen it from across the lake.

As soon as we get our van today or tomorrow we'll be exploring the trails and enjoying sasperillas at the Red Dog Saloon (sweet sawdust-floored old school saloon).

If those reasons aren't enough for you Andy... I'm here. Isn't that enough?

Keep representin everybawdy.

Birthday Surprise

Thanks to all you dick holes that didn't call me on my birthday.

Love matt