Paramore and Jimmy Eat World in Pokey

So ya'll, i think apr 12. paramore and jimmy eat world are playing here at the hold. TIckets are kind of expensive, i think like 30 or 35 or something like that. Anyway, everyone should come down and witness me trying to impregnate paramore....yes, the entire band. No, the concert should be bad. I think you can get the tickets at www.isu.edu/tickets but if someone knows another place, let me know. THanks.
love
matt

3 Things

Thing #1-

Habibs, word on the street is that you are coming up with quite the line up of old person humor. Congratulations. How is driving a bus going for you? Today was drive 2 and 3 outside of the parking lot for me. Pretty intense. I enjoy the boon microphone. Vamos nos divertir mais do que qualquer um destes bichos este verao. Me desculpe J-Hal mas e a verdade.

Thing #2-

Seeing as how much of our fun revolves around an object (ex.- Seltcher Sletcher, Turtle Necks, Ford Taurus, etc.) I'm sure that you will all be pleased to know that I recently came into possession of a helmet-cam. It is waterproof and comes with mounting equipment to attach it to a variety of surfaces. You are all cordially invited to come and try it out with me.

Thing #3

Ken is a good man. Andy you should place a telephone call in my direction. I have a variety of topics to discuss with you including Alaska, the "Documentaries Are People Too 24 Hour Film Festival", adventures with the harp player, and more. Good day.

Dare

READER BEWARE - You are about to be dared. If you continue reading, consider yourself dared. If you don't want to be dared. DON'T READ ON. So this is it. I dare you (the reader) to enter into a woman's study class, or basically a class where angry women (bull dikes) will be, and make snide comments about women, such as but not excluding: "I'm pretty certain that it's a fact that women have smaller brains than men", or (this is Karl's) "Men are obviously more dominant because they carry their genitals on the outside. They have nothing to hide.", or maybe even, "I heard men are better than women at things that matter, like life, and women are better than men at things that are dumb, like nurturing babies." Anyway, if you've read this, consider it a dare, no a double dare. There you go. Let me know the outcome. Also, if you're doing this in a class of bull dikes, be prepared to get beat up because everyone knows that bull dikes have a temper.

i am not a computer genius

hey all you sucka mc how do you get your picture on the internet so when "habbs" makes a comment his picture shows up.
best thing in the world happened today
1. got an A on a test i didnt study for which leads me to believe college is easy
2. tyler roe just showed up and asked if he could sit by me because i look smart. tyler why dont you say something to your fans.... hello everyone, Andrew sure seems to be dominating the library now days. We have one amazing future dentist on our hands here. Everyone is welcome to join the braves bandwagon early this year with andrew and I so you can say you were with them from the beginning when they win it all. Andy Farrer... if your reading this i would like to remind you that the cubs still SUCK!!!!
all in all its been a great day
bad things though
1. i am sitting next to a girl who is pretty hot and my stomach is making pre-fart sounds so i think ill let it out and she'll leave and ill be alone.
2. well really thats about it im in denial

How to effectively blow up a toilet in three easy steps

Step One: find a large package of water dynamite.
Step Two: light said dynamite and throw into empty toilet.
Step Three: go to Lowes and buy the cheapest toilet you can find.
Repeat.

Steven Bradford

I ran into him yesterday. He had his hair pulled back in a ponytail and looks a lot like a less masculine Steven Segal.
He told me I look like a mountain man hippie. I have the feeling this is not the last time I will be seeing Steven.

Balls

MOD EDIT: Warning, this video contains large balls. Don't watch this in a computer lab or at work. I would not recomend watching it at all in fact. Carry on.

I'm so sorry, but it reminded me of Karl. Andy, you know what i'm talking about.

This video is pretty self explanatory ... I love you guys.... except for Matt, really. But in a good way. You know.

And the winner is

In a stunning come from behind victory, Pulp Free comes forward as the superior orange juice.

Happy Birthday J-Hal

Click on this picture to receive your birthday present.

This is still one of my favorite moments of all time. Absolute nonsense or comedic genius? You decide:



Have a good one boy. For this one day I will allow you to talk about feelings on Poop Script if you would like.

Flash Mob

Guys, please check out "flash mobs" on youtube. This probably would be the funnest thing in the world, if you could pull it off. I was thinking Justin Timberlake Dance Party. Think about it.

I'd like to be the first to welcome Doug Anderson to the poopscript and thank him for his services to all the poops of Hillcrest High School including the time that he let us watch cartoons with his grandson and made us french toast. Congratulations on your inductions into this prestigious organization!

Most Annoying Word Poll in the World

Countrymen,

So, for the past couple of years I've been working on a list of the world's most annoying words in English in the world. I am interested in hearing what words (excluding the crude ones) strike you as the world's most annoying words in the world.

A few examples include:

tasty
chilled veggies
cool beverage
neat
lol

I'm interested to hear your expert opinions on the subject.

Special blogation for Andrew Farrer

Andy,
I put in another good word for you, this time with the safety manager of all of South East Alaska. He said he'd check into your hiring status and email me back. He didn't think that they had finished the selection process and that they hadn't informed anyone yet since the company is merging with another to form one super company. Other interesting news is that the company is trying to buy out a hotel and remodel it into employee housing. That would make things tons cheaper for us since rent is pretty intense in Juneau. Let me know when you hear anything from them. Also that harp thing I told you about... awesome and 1/2. It's gonna turn out amazing.

Let's Talk About Bamboo

I figure since we have this blog we might as well use it to learn something. Today we are going to venture into the world of bamboo. Here are the facts:
-Bamboo's tensile strength is 28,000 psi, compared to 23,000 psi of steel and has a weight-to-strength ratio surpassing that of graphite.
-Nearly all the scaffolding used in Hong Kong is bamboo.
-Bamboo is the fastest growing plant on Earth. Some species have actually been measured to grow over 4 feet in 24 hours. A pole of bamboo can regenerate to its full mass in just six months!
-Bamboo survived the atomic bomb at Hiroshima and provided the first re-greening after the blast.
-Bamboo provides income, food, and housing to over 2.2 billion people worldwide.
-Its stands release 35% more oxygen than equivalent stands of trees.
-It is believed that if bamboo were planted on a mass basis it could completely reverse the effects of global warming in just 6 years, and provide a renewable source of food, building material, and erosion prevention. HOLLY CRAP!!! Imagine the mayhem that would commence if the hippies got a hold of this information.

I foresee a future where all things are made of bamboo. Buildings, weapons, children, EVERYTHING.

Also, check out these awesome bamboo frame bikes:
















Now tell me your life hasn't been changed forever.

Just wanted everyone to know who the real manaquin head is. A free spirited mountaineer.

Just wanted everyone to know who the real Jason was. A gay raver.




THANKS INTERNET!

Just wanted everyone to know who the real Andy was. A dirty Russian.

My thoughts on pulp:

Where's Snake Lungs

Andy did you teach Ford how to use this sucker yet?

Baby!!?

Hello everyone. I havn't told everyone personaly but i just wanted to officially announce that i am having a baby! For those of you who may have heard this rumor it is true. I would like to ask for all of your inputs on this matter. Before you critisize and make fun of me, which is allowed, you must congratulate me, please and thank you. Your loving freind,
Zachary

Patricia Hammond Spotted in Computer Lab

I thought it my duty to inform all of you that Patricia Hammond has changed her hairstyle from lucious locks to very short and bleached. She was spotted in a BYU computer lab last week. I held very still and she went away. Don't let her pull a fast one on any of you, or you could end up like http://youtube.com/watch?v=qXF-VMIWi3A!!!!!

Poops, i would like your feelings on this photo. Let me know. Thanks.
LOVE
matty poo

No Feelings?

Although I am happy with the new blog spot, I must admit that I was hoping I could share some of my feelings. I have oft thought of opening up and sharing these ever so important emotions with my friends, but must admit that I have never felt comfortable. When I heard that we had our very own blog spot, I thought maybe I could open up without the threat of them seeing my face and me crying all over the place. But I can now easily see that no feelings will be shared. Sorry.
I too am excited to check this dumb website so now I can do three things: look at how no one sends me email, look at how no one writes on my facebook wall, and look at how no one blogs on our blog spot.
Thanks Andy

OPEN

My fecal fellows,

I tip my hat to Andy for the dominant graphics used in creating this blog. I feel blessed to have associated with such a fine boy. It's true everybody, as shown in this stimulating photograph taken in my living room... let the resurrections of sports boards begin... except not about sports. This is the place for the latest updates on the poop dawgs and their offspring. This is the place where we can tell Drexton that we'd rather have a 3 foot long booger than a three foot long nipple hair because it's easier to right off as a stupid human trick and not as a freak trait. This is the place to celebrate our heritage. Open. Open is the term I choose to use.

Vomit

I guess i will be first to embrace the internet age with moderate enthusiasm. Yeah. Andy, i think this is a good idea for several reasons. 1. We can tell poops what we think, although i'm not sure if i was ever considered a poop. That was after i graduated, but i guess i was a big time loser and spent all my time with highscool kids anyway. 2. The poopscript is way better than email or even phone calls because the page is black and kind of cool (nice job on the graphics by the way), and it's rather unpersonal, which i like. 3. I'll be able to get out of boring conversations, by telling perople i'm a blogger, i blog everyday, and i'm going blogging right now. ie (phone conversation with my mom) - "Matt, this is your mother, i was just checking in on you. How are you doing?" - (me) "Good, hey, mom, i'd love to chat, but i need to go blog. It's really important" - (mom) "Oh, sorry for bothering you, i'll let you go. Love you" - (me) "yeah, ok. Bye" - (mom) "say it back" - (me) "say what back" - (mom) "I said i love you and you didn't say it back. Say it back" - (me) "mom, no, i'm with all my friends (Kevin). It's embarassing." - (mom) "Alright fine, it's not like i gave birth to you or anything." - (me) "I'm adopted?" - (mom) "no, i was being sarcastic" - (me) "alright, talk to you later" - (mom) "say it back" - (me) "Mom." - (mom) "say it." - (me, grudgingly in a quiet subdued voice) "alright, i love you" - (mom) "ok, bye." - (me) "bye." (mom) "bye." 4. I check my facebook about 359 times a day so i might as well start checking this.
LOVE
matty poo

First order of business

A Decleratioin of InDEPENDSence

Welcome one and all to the Poop Script. A place where an elite group of individuals can come to share their thoughts (but not feelings) on a matter of subjects, or simply just give us all an update on how you are dominating or being dominated by life. Feel free to invite whoever you would like to visit this blog. I have tried to make the URL as embarrassing as possible so you can announce to your family/friends/dougandersons, "Come Read my Poop Script!". If you are too daft to figure out how to make your own post just call me and I will hold your hand and walk you through it. Or you can call me just because.
Most likely this will fail to work as planned and will simply be used as a medium for Dusty and I to send each other youtube videos (<------ the pink letters mean you can click it, and you should).


P.S. (poop script): I'll give Dusty half credit for this since it was his idea.